BUMN(SOE) Online Test and 20's life

 

Ting. WhatsApp notification sounds soft.

I squint my eyes to the message that my sister has sent to me.

Rekrutmen bersama BUMN.FHCI....

Right. Online registration for State-Owned Enterprises of Indonesia (BUMN) job vacancies.

This a little bit triggering me. Because, what i had through is i never have the chance to pass the administration qualification. I had registered for state-owned enterprise of Indonesia for 2 Times.

But, my mind telling me. "Why don't just try again? Maybe it'll be your way". Maybe. So i decided to process it. Around 1 month after i registered, i got an email to pass the first Exam test. Woahhh. It's a good start. Then i try to look what Will be the questions are. Not that hard, nor is easy.

There are number sequence, word classification, logical statement from stories, and diagram reasoning. I do trust myself capabilites for passing the Exam this noon. And.... As usually, i was so weak at number sequence. That was so harddddd. Wkwkwkwk. But fortunately, i pass total minimum scores of it.

This is maybe i can call as self improvement. Because, if i look from 2021-2023 were just dark area. It was so hard so i couldn't bear it all alone and seek for the professional helps. Yes. Professional helps. I did it for 2 Times. The first ones was in September 2022 and the second was in March 2023. The cost of physcologist was not that expensive. Still affordable.

The issue of getting better job and better income is so serious. I thought getting job as a bachelor degree Will be easier than just high school grads. But that not how it works. There are so many factors that can affect. Maybe not like in Japan that there is a company to help you resign from a job. It's vice Versa. In Indonesia, there are many companies help you to get a job. Eventough it's not a permanent.

This hardship make me compare to my friends. There have been a doctor, a stable income job, a professional of one thing, or maybe business owner. Arrgghh. But offcourse it Will be just add up my mind. I put a song from Japanese indie female band named Bray Me (CMIIW). The song title is Evidence road. 20's life kinda Messy and challenging at the same time.

YouTube Music

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Slow down and keep focus

YouTube. Tedx Talks.

   I've done some English practice on speaking and listening. I did speaking practice for the last few days with 10 minutes allocation in front of mirror. It was awkward at first. My voice sounds terrible and not stable. But little by little i feel the awkward fade and my confidence to speak raise. I want and will try it maybe within the next month. So i can improve my English active skills in a few times

   In order to do that, i need to disicpline on listening any media with English languange. Maybe entertainment. Maybe a regular Tedx Talks. Just i've done before Ashr prayer. The second thing in this effort is time allocation or spending. I need to spend with minimum a hour per day with  15 minutes writing, 15 minutes speaking, 15 minutes listening, and 15 minutes reading. 

   I want to do the same thing with my Japanese languange learning. But, i still think about it can lead me to burnout. I don't know it's just my perception or not. It feels like languanges learning which to continue to Microsoft Excel, drawing, and reading a book in a row is so exhausting to do in everyday self improvement. Maybe i need to prioritze my goals than do all the things in a row. Cause i think still need to make money with my Grab Driver while i'm making an effort to apply on companies. 

   The Tedx Talks i recently watched is about to slow down when you want or need to speed up by Kimi Werner. It's her experience about underwater life such as fishspearing, free dive and so on. I love the main idea of this talk. It feels like my current situation. I want to speed up on learn anything that i think can give me positive impact on my self development. But, i can't. I can't do all the things. I need to slow down (prioritize some goals) before continue to another some goals. Sometimes i need to make off day to learn skills i want to learn just like today.  Sometimes i need to not to do anything  and maybe just playing Playstation 4. Horizon Zero Dawn or another games to entertaint my self or maybe i can just rest all day long. Only these ways i can keep focus on my self improvement and safe my mental health.

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